Friday, April 29, 2011

Friday Fun e-mails

It's FRIDAY!!!!! In honor of the most anticipated day of the week let's have a little fun. This has to be one of my all time favorite e-mails. Most of you have probably gotten this several times but it's always worth reading again. Is it just me or can the rest of you see MOST of the men in your family doing this?

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie.. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it agains t a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumfer ence; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. .?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipstick,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .



I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?


A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my n+ts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return! 

P.S. My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Ghosts in the White House--Yeah, that White House

Two of my favorite things combined, YIPPEE history and ghosts doesn't get much better than that.

The most famous address in America--1600 Pennsylvania Avenue--is also perhaps the country's most famous haunted house. Presidents, first ladies, White House staff members and guests have reported feeling ghostly presences, hearing unexplained noises and even running into actual apparitions--even on the way out of the bathtub, in one particularly famous case.
click here for the rest of the story

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Ghosts in the news

So many times when we hear the word ghosts we tend to think of  fictional stories told around the campfire. Have you ever stopped to wonder if just maybe there may be something behind the stories or legends of ghosts? If so you're not alone. according to a gallop pole taken in 2005 one third of Americans believe in ghosts.

I'd like to take at a look at some stories that may have some validity to them. If you know of a ghost story that has made it to the news or somewhere outside of the campfire please send me a link. To get us started take a look at this one.

Ghostbusters called in and ride moved at Thorpe Park over ghost sightings

Monday, April 25, 2011

Back To The Basics

If your *cough* you're like me, you find yourself struggling with all  those little grammar rules you once supposedly learned in school. When I was writing Angelina's Secret my daughter, Keshia, proofread my manuscript and caught many of my mistakes. Realizing most people may not have their own genius daughter to rely on, I've searched the Internet looking for articles to help other writers remember some of these beastly little rules. I found this one very helpful.
Know the difference between to, too and two


To offers writers two uses, as follows:

1. To as a preposition: To is one of the most often used prepositions to introduce a prepositional phrase, which indicate location and condition, among others.
For example: to the store, to another city, to the boats.
Punctuation: No commas are used with this To.

You can view the complete article here.

Know the difference between to, too and two

Friday, April 22, 2011

Just For Fun

I received this email and thought I'd share the laughs!!!


You can’t make this stuff up!   Make sure you read all  the way to the end.

    NEW  YORK   - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her  friends and  family
when  she set a new standard for stupidity with her  appearance
on  the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A  Millionaire.'

 Evans,  a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on  the first  question
and  proceeded to make what fans of the show are  dubbing 'the absolute worst  use
of  lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the  show's  host
Meredith  Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy  initial $100  question.
  The  question was: 'Which of the following is the  largest?'
  A)  A  Peanut
B)  An  Elephant
C)  The  Moon
D)  Hey, who you calling  large?
  Immediately  Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic  as she did  not
readily  know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,'  said  Evans,
as  Vieira did her level best to hide her  disbelief.
'I  mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things  before,
but  I have no idea how large they would  be.'
  Evans  made the decision to use the first of her three  lifelines, the  50/50.
Answers  A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which  was
bigger,  an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an  incredibly
easy  question, Evans still remained  unsure.
  'Oh!  It removed the two I was leaning towards!'  exclaimed  Evans...
'Darn.  I think I better phone a  friend.'
Mrs.  Evans asked to be connected with her  friend
Betsy,  who is an office  assistant.
  'Hi  Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!'  said Evans, 
wasting  the first seven seconds of her  call.
'Ok,  I got an important question. Which of the  following is the  largest?
B,  an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds  hun.'
Betsy  quickly replied that the answer was C, the  moon.
Evans  proceeded to argue with her friend for the  remaining ten  seconds.
'Betsy,  are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh,  that can't be  it.'
  To  everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans  declined to take her  friend's
advice.  'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not  all that  bright.
So  I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said  Evans.
  Asked  to vote on the correct answer, the audience  returned 98% in favor  of
answer  C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her  lifelines,
Evans  then made the dumbest choice of her  life.
'Wow,  seems like everybody is against what I'm  thinking,' said  the
too-stupid-to-live  Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go  with
your  gut. So, let's see... I'm going to have to go with  B, an elephant. Final  answer.'
 Evans  sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one  waiting with bated breath  -
and  was told that she was wrong, and that the answer  was in fact, C, 'The  Moon..'
Caution...they  walk among us!---------------------This  one is equally unbelievable.. (No comments  needed!)

They  Walk Among Us!
Some  guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get  rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard  and hung a
sign on it saying: 'Free to good  home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days  the fridge sat there without anyone looking  twice.
He eventually decided that people were  too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the  sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'

The  next day someone stole it!

They walk  amongst  us!
  I  stopped at Mc Donald’s and ordered some  fries.  The  girl behind the counter said “would you like some  fries with that?”  
One  day I was walking down the beach with
some  friends when someone shouted.....
'Look at that  dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and  said...'where?'

They walk among  us!


While  looking at a house, my brother asked the
estate  agent which direction was north because
he  didn't want the sun waking him up every  morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the  north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises  in the east
and has for sometime. She shook her  head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all  that stuff......'

They Walk Among  Us!
My  colleague and I were eating our lunch in our  cafeteria,
when we overheard an admin girl  talking about the
sunburn she got on her  weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a  convertible, but said
she 'didn't think she'd  get sunburned
because the car was  moving'.

They Walk Among  Us!
My  sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which  is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she  gets trapped. She keeps it in the car  trunk.

    They Walk Among  Us!

I  was going out with a friend when we saw a woman  with a nose ring attached to an earring by a  chain.
My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must  rip
out every time she turns her head!"
I  had to explain that a person's nose and  ear
remain the same distance apart no
matter  which way the head is turned...

They Walk Among  Us  !
-------------------------------I  couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage  area and went to the lost luggage office and  reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and  told me not to worry
because she was a trained  professional and
said I was in good hands.  'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived  yet?'...
(I work with professionals like  this.)

They Walk Among  Us!
------------------------------------------------ While  working at a pizza parlor I observed a  man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared  to be alone and the cook asked him if he would  like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought  about it for some time
then said 'Just cut it  into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
enough  to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among  Us!
And  last, but not least: 
A  noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an  academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to  appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to  schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a  question with which he was most at  ease.

'Would you mind telling me,  Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental  deficiency in somebody who appears completely  normal?'

'Nothing is easier,' he replied.  'You ask a simple question which anyone should  answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates,  that puts you on the track..'

'What sort  of question?' asked Pelosi.

Well, you  might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around  the world and died during one of them. Which  one?''

Pelosi thought a moment, and then  said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen  to have another example would you? I must  confess I don't know much about  history.'

Sadly,  not only do they walk among us, they vote  and  their  vote equals ours  and  they also  reproduce!
Traffic Camera
A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..     
You can't fix stupid.


Thursday, April 21, 2011

My Turn...

Since I asked you to share your ghostly encounters, I’ve gotten several emails with request for me to share some of mine. So, I guess it’s my turn. 

As I mentioned in the last post, I love staying at the Crescent Hotel. The first time I actually stayed there was for my 20th wedding anniversary. Since 20 years is kind of a big deal, we decided to go all out and booked the honeymoon suite. After the six hour drive to get there, we checked in and decided to take a nap before going into town. After getting up, we changed clothes and left the hotel to do some sightseeing. Returning a couple of hours later, we found our bed had been made and our clothes were put up. The room was not only clean, but it smelled of lilacs. I thought this was a little strange because I’d never stayed in a hotel that cleaned your room just hours after you checked in. Knowing the hotel was supposed to be haunted I suspected we might be experiencing something paranormal.  At that time my husband did not believe in ghosts so he was convinced “someone was messing with us.”

The next day we were visiting with a staff member and asked them if it was customary for the room to be cleaned after only being there for a few hours. The man smiled and said the hotel staff only cleaned the rooms in the mornings but that sometimes the “out of body residents” took it upon themselves to tidy up the rooms.
My husband, the skeptic wasn't buying any of it. He loved the Victorian charm of the hotel and was in awe over the town—but ghosts—no—that was impossible.  He did however have a hard time explaining how our room would suddenly fill with the fragrance of lilacs and then quickly dissipate throughout our stay.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Ghost Hunters Crescent Hotel

Anyone who knows me knows there’s no place I’d rather be than sitting out on the veranda at the Crescent Hotel in Eureka Springs Arkansas. I have spent countless nights there. I simply can’t get enough of the hotels Victorian charm and of course its ghosts. Some of you may have seen this footage before when it aired on Ghost Hunters but it’s worth watching again.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Better Late Than Never

I started this blog in 2007. Of course, when I say I started, I actually mean I signed up and titled the page—that’s it—no more.   Now, four years later I’ve decided to mend my wicked and slothful ways and actually post something.
Let me start by saying, as the title of the blog suggest, I love talking about things pertaining to the paranormal, in particular, ghosts. I understand to some the mere thought that ghosts might exist is enough to cause them to run and scream in terror.  While to others, like me, we find the very idea of ghosts intriguing. 
I am an author and my debut novel, Angelina’s Secret, enabled me to combine two of my passions, which is writing and, you guessed it, talking about ghosts. The premise for the book is about a young girl who discovers she can see ghosts. On my facebook page      I asked people to write in and share some of their own paranormal experiences with me. As a result I’ve met several new people and have heard many interesting stories. So for this first post I’d like to do the same here. If you’ve had a ghostly encounter please share it here.